Brandy's Writers Cramp: Grandma on Board

Grandma on Board

B.D. Adams

A quick note, the children are from different Mothers. Kind of makes me think of the Fogelberg-Weisberg album, “Twin Sons of Different Mothers.” Good music.

In the last few years, I have become a Grandmother. A Grand-mère (French), a Großmutter (German - it’s Grossmuter, as written in English), an Abuela (Spanish)! To Jacob, my son, Liza and my grandchildren, I am just plain, ol’ Grandma!! This so pleases me!

Amy, my granddaughter (who lives with her mother), came first. She turns 3-years-old this May and is a determined little girl! Since she is part of my blood line, she is “Sugar and Spice” with a dash or two of “Snips and Snails.” I can see that already. And, without a doubt she has an endearing smile! As she grows up, I hope to help in her guidance, her life choices to mold her, to encourage the individual part of her female id. That is how I hope to be part of her life, like my paternal grandmother was for me.

Isaiah, my grandson who lives with Jacob and Liza (his mother) was born in October (2012) and is growing strong with the same infectious grins like his father has. He appears to have the same look of determination as his sister has. He is definitely full of “Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails!” Jacob believes that I see only what I want, but this new “whipper-snapper” is already so aware of his world and knows how to push his parent’s buttons. I believe Jacob will have to agree with my intuitions.

I mean ... what son’s mother is ever wrong?

As in a modern family, Liza's daughter, Esly, by a different relationship, is a very sweet young girl. I am not her grandma by blood, but I am so happy that she refers to me that way. I love her as one of my own!

It has taken Amy a little longer to warm up to me. When I visited California, just before Isaiah’s birth, she kept a respectful distance, but without being a brat. We played “peek-a-boo” and she warmed up, a bit. Because she had to go back to her mother’s home, I wasn’t really able to “bond” with my granddaughter.

As it went, Liza took a photo of Jacob and me with my camera. For Christmas, I had worked up the photo and sent it in a frame as a Christmas gift to Jacob and Liza. Jacob told me that Amy finally got the message that I was Grandma, part of her world.

Now, when she’s at her father's home and they go on the Yahoo Video for us to “visit,” Amy talks with me. She is shy, but she seems to want more contact with her East Coast Grandma. She also knows that Daniel is her Grandpa. She always comments on his beard in a curious, positive way.

Isaiah sees me and Daniel on the Video, as well. He’s only five months old, but he is so aware of his life! When he sees Grandma, he begins to coo and make other

noises as I talk to him, say his name. And, he smiles so big, which makes me melt

every time! To look at the computer monitor, his little neck is so strong for several minutes. He sits on his dad’s lap to look at and react to the images.

Now, this is going to sound really silly, but there is this thing I do that Isaiah just loves. If the reader has never watched the TV program “Bones,” this won’t make much sense, but we play a game that other folks might try with their very young grandkids. It’s called “Dancing Phalanges!” I wiggle my fingers, so the camera can see, and kind of sing, “Dancing phalanges, dancing phalanges!” Isaiah, of course, does not know what I’m saying, but it doesn’t matter. He laughs right out loud as I wiggle my grandma digits! I could say dancing fingers, but the other way is more musical, in my humble opinion.

Honestly, I had no idea how I would react to Grandma-hood. Was NEVER against the idea, it kind of fell into the area of “The Unknown.” With my pregnancy, and then as Jacob grew-up, there was a lot of panic! But now, with Isaiah, I figured that being a Grandma is the best. All I do is play and not worry (or smell) what’s going on in Isaiah’s diaper. Don’t get me wrong ... I am not happy that there is such a distance between all of us. If we were closer, I would do what I could for Jacob and Liza!

They are all planning to come East, some time. When all three children come to visit, I hope to teach them (mostly with Esly) a bit about gardening and how to make things grow from the earth! And, who knows. They might really like it away from the hoop-lah of Los Angeles and move to live near us.

Hmmmm ... I like that idea! That will take some pondering!