Choices -- Part 1 - The Relocation

Mt. Washington - Highest mountain in New England

Dear Readers:

            I have had a couple of story requests. One is a testimony to how I came to leave Ohio and why New Hampshire was my destination. Another story is about how Daniel and I met and became a pair. These stories are near and dear to my heart ... no matter how frustrating change and new can be. The following story, Part 1, is about why I left Ohio. Part 2 (to follow in a couple of weeks) will tell how Daniel and I met one very cold and snowy January here in New England.

          These stories warm my cockles ... other than when Daniel fires up the chainsaw to cut more firewood for our home’s woodstove. Mostly true, these stories. Enjoy!

Choices

by

© B.D. Adams

Part 1 – The Relocation

            It was the best of times ... it was the worst of times *¹. Columbus, Ohio ... the years were 1997 through 2002! This was the time of the early days of traveling on the “Information Superhighway” ... the Internet ... and, before my stroke.

            The Internet was a new tool for business and wicked fun to meet new people all over the world, literally! Thankfully, I had a few local people who gave pointers about the Internet for advertising purposes for my boss’s photography business. I began to learn about it, but it was a vexing process.

My boss, D.R. Goff, had begun to formulate his decision to move, “pseudo-retire,” to New Mexico, a place he really loved. We had known each other for several years and worked together for a while and had a “good” work relationship ... I would miss him (he moved in 1999). I grew up in Texas and had no desire to move to New Mexico. The four seasons had a better meaning for me, other than a 1960’s music group! My goal, more than anything before he left, was to help him into the new Internet genre with my neophyte ability.

            In the beginning days of “surfing,” there was a lot of hard searching for any specific needle through all that straw. I came across a few legitimate “surfers” who actually helped my searches. Quite surprisingly, I met Becky from New Hampshire in a “chat room” (along with a few other ladies from NH).  We became friends. Becky gave me good advice and helped with some Internet networking. The other women only wanted to “play.”

            Since I met these new “friends” on-line, I resolved to visit New Hampshire ... had never been there before. It was February, 1998. Flew into Boston’s Logan Airport, rented a car to drive to Becky’s home in Madbury, NH (yes, the town’s name is Madbury). I drove because she couldn’t get off from her job on this Friday (neither could the other women) to come to the airport. More than anything, though, I wanted to scope what it was really like in New England! Lucky for me, there was no snow!

Away from the big city, I was smitten with the beauty ... trees, very tall trees and lakes everywhere! I could really imagine the trees in the summer, with all their leaves! DR had his deserts ... I loved green forests! Even with the bare trees, there were still a lot of beautiful trees ... the Evergreen Trees and Pine Trees. Not like in Columbus ... very winter gray.

I drove into Becky’s driveway and her quaint home appealed to me. It was a single-story house, dated from the 1870s. The land around her house had been an apple orchard ... the twisted branches of the round topped trees said this. A quaint home and was everything I had read about colonial style, complete with a wood-stove for warmth. I liked her home! Becky and I had both recently been divorced and boasted one son each (mine was a bit older) ... there was a lot in common!

We all met at another woman’s house (this one wasn’t as quaint), and then we went to supper at a nice restaurant that specialized in seafood. The waitress, who served us, used Becky’s point-&-shoot camera to take a photo of us together. It was so great to meet the women I had only known in the chat room, and I saw that Becky was the same person as she was on-line ... no nasty surprises!

            My visit to NH was short, but I promised that I would visit again, soon!! However, the next visit was postponed for several years. As fate would have it, I had the hemorrhagic stroke on June 14, 1998. My right side was totally affected with degrees of paralysis. (This is just a fact ... not a sympathy grabber.)

            Becky called me at the hospital a few times to check on me, to encourage me to get well. Her calls were welcomed, as were all the visitors I had had.

After being released from the hospital, I welcomed being back into my apartment in German Village in Columbus (an urban neighborhood). Becky called a few times to talk about me moving into her home in New Hampshire! I was very tempted, but I always was a very feisty person ... I loved my independence ... no matter how hard it was! I couldn’t drive ... could only walk with my cane and catch a city bus to go to doctors’ visits. I didn’t want her or anyone else to cart me around because I couldn’t drive. Becky insisted that she wouldn’t mind driving me around. I was the one who minded.

In the early renaissance of my new life, my first bit of independence was to buy an adult tricycle with my last tax refund (not a motor-trike). I used to ride it to go to the Laundromat and to get my groceries at the Big Bear store in German Village. Even this minor piece of independence felt delightful!

I just wanted to prove to others, and to myself, that I was not totally dependent! To show the stroke gremlins that I was better than they were!

            Jacob, my son, had been a dutiful son! He was living in New York, on Long Island, and came to Columbus, a few extended times, to “help” me. I had to shoo him back to NYC, each time, to prove that I could take care of myself.

            With my determination, I managed to get a job with Cord Camera Store ... cameras and accessories. I would ride a bus to and from work, which was rather tedious (too far to ride my trike). I did all I could do to regain my previous life. I was a good salesperson, I knew the equipment, but the gremlins stood in my way, no matter.

By 2000, I was able to start “driving therapy” at Ohio State University’s Hospital Out-Patient Clinic (different from the hospital when I had the stroke). My ex-husband, who I moved in with again (which turned out to be a mistake ... again), took me to the sessions. I was able to gain back the epitome of independence, as I relearned how to drive! The therapy car was equipped with a left foot accelerator adapter attached to the floor. Also, a “spinner knob” on the steering wheel made it easier to steer, one handed. I bought a used, automatic shift, funky blue 1988 Pontiac Sunbird and had this equipment fitted onto the car. Now, I really had freedom!!!!

I was able to drive again, so I pushed myself to handle my cameras. I wanted do some photography. However, because of my physical disabilities, lifting camera equipment was wicked hard, as well as using only one hand  ... and walking was no easier. I had oodles of physical therapy, but after a fashion, results were marginal. I attempted to do some photography ... shot a couple of weddings (not the receptions, though). My life had definitely changed! I was not as fast or spontaneous as before. I was still as creative, but not to the standard I had always aspired!

            It just seemed, the more I tried to come off as a regular person, the more I failed. The fact was that I appeared no where near regular or “normal.” The disability was too noticeable. Many people I knew kept comparing me to their great Aunt Maude or old cousin Harry, who were stroked ... bedridden or in a wheelchair ... “aren’t you glad you are not like that?” Most conversations with former photo friends always headed away from our vocations ... their vocations. Just a pat or two on my round head, and then they would send me on my way. I was not bedridden, but my physical appearance did not help my attempt to show the world that “I am really all right.” A lot of compassion, but not much true sincerity. Oh, those dastardly gremlins!

            This was when you learned who your true friends were! DR was one, along with Tom Etter and Heiderose Forby ... all with photography. I am still in touch with these folks!

            Becky and I continued our on-line friendship. We talked via the phone a few times and she kept

with her suggestion that I should move to NH.

            With all things considered ... the weather in New England and current personal circumstances (my ex-husband had become as big a jerk as when he was drinking) ... I decided I needed a change, if only for location!! Becky and I planned my move ... my adventure to New Hampshire ... those beautiful forests! 

            I wasn’t able to rig-up a trailer on my used car, so I just packed everything I could into the spacious trunk and the passenger seat and backseat; all of my cherished knick-knacks and bone china, some clothes, framed photos, boxes of negatives and slides, my camera equipment, etc.

            I bought and hooked up a bicycle carrier to attach my trike to the trunk of my car. Last, but not least, I positioned the large birdcage with George and Gracie, two parakeets, on the backseat. I had had them for a long while and couldn’t part with them. These birds were rather scared and nervous with what they experienced! However, they were survivors, just like me.

All of my furniture remained in the dubious care of my ex-husband! If he sold everything, I hoped he made some money.

So, on a Thursday in April, 2002, I began the drive with my puddle-jumper (my old car) to Madbury, New Hampshire. I was so psyched for this trip ... kind of like the song “America” by Simon & Garfunkel. I would be discovering a new way of life!

From Columbus to New Jersey, it was uneventful. That evening (not good with night-vision), I stopped at a Days Inn in New Jersey. I was tired, but not horribly so! I made sure the bird’s cage was well covered for the night. It wasn’t expected to be a very cold night, but I wanted my little birds to be as comfortable as possible.

I checked in and used my new AARP Card (I was over 50) to get my deserved discount for the room. Then, once in the room, I called Becky on my cell to let her know the status of the trip. She said she was glad that I stopped and to enjoy my supper. That completed, I went to the motel’s nice restaurant. What a thrill ... I was by myself and dined quietly on Shrimp Scampi with a glass of wine!

Back in the room, I dressed for bed, crawled under the covers and turned on the TV. I watched CSI, I believe, but became sleepy, so I ended the TV and zonked out!

Slept well ... impatient to get going this early morrow! I thought of another song about traveling ... “On The Road Again!” Not really a Willie Nelson fan, but the song filled the bill.

To get through the smidgeon of New York City, however, was the biggest hurdle! So much road construction ... so many unmarked detours! After a few gas station stops to get directions, I finally made it to I-95 north; to Connecticut to Massachusetts and then to Rte. 16 in NH. I was now almost there!!

It was around 3:00pm, that Friday afternoon, when I pulled into Becky’s driveway!! She was able to take off this Friday, so she ran outside, with her boyfriend, to greet me with warm hugs and huge smiles! We both were so glad to see each other we had silly giggles and tears with our happiness!!

It took four years to make this permanent relocation, but I have been so glad I did.

*¹  A Tale of Two Cities – Charles Dickens

The other happiness about New Hampshire will be included in a few weeks. Part 2 ... how I met Daniel. Until then ... take care, all!!!