Family Feud

FAMILY FEUD(s)!!!

by

B.D. Adams

©2018

   How can families just go along? Not faultless … not perfect … just family.

   My immediate family is my son and his family. He and I have been through the trials and tribulations many mothers and sons have gone through (and other combinations). Not perfect, but love was always there.

   Once he realized that I was not just a crazy-old-woman, the lightbulb went on for him! Then, once his children came along, he actually calls me for MY advice about childcare. Amazing how that works.

And the survey says?

   Because my husband and his son have the same first name, Dan will be for mine and Daniel for the younger. He is married (Dan and I attended the wedding in CA) and has children, but only one more than my son.

   The very nice thing for Dan is his son can talk “car.” Daniel will call his dad to pick his brain about cars, engines and other things. One thing Dan would really like more from his son is to spend more time together – on the phone or in person.  

And the survey says?

   One situation that really makes this a Family Feud, which has grown thorns in the family -- has to do with Dan’s daughter. Yep, I’m bringing this up. The feud with her began about a decade ago.

   In the Spring of 2007, after Dan and I moved to Alton Bay, his daughter came to see our house by herself. Her husband didn’t come with her and neither did either child (two at that time). She had visited at the cottage a couple of times from where we had moved.  

   Dan gave her the tour of the property and the house and garage. At this point, everything was regular.

   There was something personal Dan and I wanted to tell her. We had discussed this and decided we should let her know. I had tested positive for HPV. Neither of us knew anything about this virus, so we were concerned. I was scheduled for a biopsy to better determine a diagnosis.

   With what Dan and I decided, I told her this. Our intention was for her to support her father, if I did, indeed, have cancer. He loved his daughter and hoped for her moral support, if needed.

   Well, I no sooner got the words out of my mouth, she yelled in anger at me!

   Dan and I had had no idea that she’d react this way! She accused me of only wanting sympathy!! 

   "That’s all you want!!!" she yelled.  

   Dan was beside himself!! He couldn’t understand why his daughter was so rude and hateful to me, which could only include him. Those were his thoughts. There are a few other items, but what I have typed now are the main issues for Dan. What she doesn’t know is I had tried to get him to talk to her.

   She gave a milked down version of what I’ve just typed to her brother and her sister-in-law. She said I was the one who yelled. I had no reason to yell at her, except to get her to quit yelling at me AND her father.

   Am I faultless? No, I am not. His daughter really pissed me off when she accused me of only wanting sympathy. She also bad-mouthed HER mother. I wasn't close to her mother, but she needed to be more considering of her mother! 

And the survey says!!!

   Son Daniel and his family do not live in California any longer. They are in Tennessee – much closer to us. Dan’s daughter doesn’t live in Vermont any longer. They live in New Hampshire, but south from us. Wouldn’t it be nice to have all the families around? Perhaps even with my son?

The survey says?

A modern extended Family!!

   I could give a rat’s ass what she thinks about me, but her father would be more than pleased if she’d make nice to me. She had told me in an email that she never wanted to hear from me ever again. I have honored her wish. Haven't contacted her for 11 years.

    If anyone reads this and speaks to her, let her know that I DID TRY to get her dad to talk to her. With her attitude towards me, though, her father was in no way anxious to ever be around her again. 

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